YouJust Don’t Understand
Theperception that men and women hold about conversions is different.The male gender mainly perceives conversations as negotiation forindividual status. Therefore, for them, life is a struggle, and theirrelationships are usually asymmetrical. On the other hand, womenengage in the world as if they are in a network of connections.Therefore, for females conversations are negotiations for closeness,sharing ideas and living as a community. Women in most instances lookfor symmetrical relationships, and they view each person as equal.Therefore, it is important for these two styles to be understood toprevent cases of misunderstanding and ill feeling. There is a socialcontrast exists between men and women since even though women do notfeel comfortable asking for help they will be honor-bound, acceptthe information and display gratitude for it. On the other hand, menwill feel honored to provide assistance even when it is notconvenient for them. Possessing certain skills and expertisefrequently reinforces the sense of self for both genders. In mostcases, women are perceived to be providers of praise rather thaninformation, unlike men. Knowledge is considered to be more masculinecompared to feminine therefore, males take pleasure in showing offtheir strength through objects to attract women since females willtend to thank and admire them which is a source of pleasure andsatisfaction.
Inconclusion, men and girls view talking about trouble differently dueto the difference in asymmetries regarding status and connection.Having information that someone else does not have shows superiorityfor men. Therefore, it becomes difficult for males to even ask fordirection and they prefer finding their way to show independence.Moreover, due to asymmetry and hierarchy, men resist gettinginformation from women. Asymmetry also affects the ability of aperson to demonstrate the capacity to fix things. Thus, for most menhaving more information, knowledge, and skill makes them feel thatthey are in a higher position. They show this, by the way, theycommunicate. In contrast, women do not view having information,skills, and expertise as a measure of power. They feel their power isenhanced when they are of help to someone else. Therefore, they lookfor a connection.
Tannen,Deborah. YouJust Don`t Understand.1st ed., New York, Harpercollins, 2013.